ImboochaY

A daughter's right

2009-09-09T14:51:00.002+02:00

I am afraid,

That when she dies

I will not cry

Because inside

In truth and light

I have been deprived

Of a daughter's right

To her mother's might

To learn in her sight

And build up a store

Of great skills and so much more.

But what to do,

For many nights,

My insides have cried,

And though i have tried,

To me I cannot lie,

For inside she has long died.

Must it be me

2009-09-09T14:37:00.002+02:00

Must i wave so hard,

To have you say hello?

Must i smile first,

To have you smile at me?

Must I set a date,

To have you want to meet?

Must I arrange a place,

To have you sit with me?

Must I start the talk

To have you share with me?

Must I look distressed

To have you care for me?

Must I write a poem

To have you understand me?

Must i sing a song

To have you enchanted by me?

Must i say a prayer

To have you love me?

Face your demons first

2009-09-09T14:27:00.002+02:00

I have learned

But I have also been burned

Choosing to run

Easy ways are not always fun

When you leave your demons behind

Many troubles your future will find

And you will have to turn back

To race on that rugged track,

To crack some knuckles,

To go round endless circles,

To face your demons first,

No matter big or small you must,

Only then will you get back,

And embrace your future's luck

Sticking it out

2009-09-09T14:24:00.001+02:00

Break this back

Take him back

It's not worth it to chuck

Even if you know he sucks

Mimi

2009-09-09T14:20:00.002+02:00

I am an art

Now can't you see?

My simpleness

My chubbiness

My shortness

My blackness

My copper brown hair

My corny toes

And flaky lips

Where else to find

a girl so fine

So when you say

not good enough

I can't understand

By whose standard to measure

That I am no treasure?

An Individual

2009-09-09T13:54:00.002+02:00

I am liking this individual's walk,

This solace and indifference,

This peaceful detachment.

I am liking the chance to think,

To hear myself speak.

I am liking the chance to live,

to decide who i will be

So don't shrug yonder,

Please, do not even bother

I am an individual

and yes, i am loving it.

mAPenzi haYApendi

2009-07-13T19:10:00.003+02:00

"usinikumbatie"

"KUKUMBATIANA TU"

"dakika tu sweetie"

"WE NI MREMBO SANA"

"usiniguse"

"GUSA KIDOGO TU"

"sitakuumiza"

"NINAKUPENDA SANA"

"usinibusu"

"KIONJO TU"

"usiogope"

"NINAKUTAMANI SANA"

"usinivue nguo"

"VUA NIKUJUE TU"

"hamna hasara"

"UKIONA VYAELEA"

"usiniumize"

"POLEPOLE TU"

"hatutashikwa"

"DAIMA U MTIMANI"

"usiniache"

"MWANAMKE, USINIGUSE!"

"msichana, niondokee!"

"ATI MAPENZI?! NANI?"

START SESSION

2009-07-13T18:56:00.003+02:00

You'll always find her on facebook,

NAME: PASSWORD: LOGIN

10 notifications

All from him..

STATUS UPDATE: thanks babe, je t'aime beaucoup aussi

Wall is filled,

Her friends want to know

"who's he? where is he from? Intros to his friends?"

and the more audacious ask

"rate :1-10 , personna, looks, skill_ OH SKILL"

Her relationship status has changed,

and the update tally is 10:10:10,

she cringes, she blushes, she smirks...

STATUS UPDATE: It's like he fell from a dream!

She smiles and clicks:

INBOX: reply

'check' 'check' 'check'

FORWARDS: delete

'check' 'check' 'check'

Tap on her shoulder,

Most adored stranger..

EYES: lock

ARMS: hug

LIPS: kiss

SESSION: quit

"miss"

2009-07-13T18:54:00.001+02:00

The feeling of miss

Is nothing like bliss,

It stings like a bad kiss,

and causes shivers like a snakes hiss.

sobs from within

2009-07-13T18:45:00.002+02:00

She's groaning inside,

like a truck,

Better still,

dad's old rack,

You can hear her

sobs from afar,

You can always tell

She's so sad.

Undecided

2009-07-13T18:40:00.002+02:00

Why do I have to choose?

When I still have nothing to lose?

I will neither be hang up on a noose

Nor be ridden of any bit of snooze!

Tide has turned

2009-07-13T18:17:00.003+02:00

Hold it right there,

Take that fist away from my cheek!

Move your arm from my neck!

This tide has turned,

Now you will learn,

You call me mad woman,

You call me insane,

INSANE?!

So, Oh, I will tell you to your face.

So, Oh, I can replace you here, today.

Mr.Ego, where is your gentleman?

Mr.Zero, where is your tender loving now?

eeh, mmm...something to say?

alah, haiya...tongue-tied today?

"Mari, cheri, babe..."

I will not fall for your sugar,

Sweety..

I will not wipe up your backside,

Sweety..

o-o-o-oh, out of the bag?

o-o-o-oh, making you mad?

haha, folding your fist?

haha, this time you will miss!

Open the door

yes,

turn and walk quick,

yes,

This tide has turned,

This grin...

Big, ecstatic, contented, satisfied

This smirk...

This last laugh

Haha ..Haha

is mine.

letter-day

2009-06-10T21:33:00.003+02:00

Pen down,
Tight fold.
Into the docket,
Paper pocket.
Tender lick,
Sticky edge.
Straighten quick,
Lunge and mark.
1050 Printech street,
Mr. Mrs. Pihsredael.
Pen down,
Into the docket.

To be mad

2009-06-10T21:22:00.004+02:00

I want to be mad,
To curl up in a corner and be sad,
To ignore you,
To let your words hang,
To let your heart sag.
To let me hate you,
To want to evade you,
To run away from you,
To throw raw words at you,
To feel unobligated,
To be unabated,
unsatiated,
To feel the blood of anger,
To act just like a stanger,
To see this cold manger,
I want to be mad.

SaDdNeSs

2009-06-10T21:19:00.001+02:00

Are you sensing me?

2009-05-25T19:50:00.007+02:00

Are you listening,
With your deafness?
Can you hear me,
In my silent-ness?

Are you watching,
With your blindness?
Are you seeing,
In my absent-ness?

Are you touching,
With your sense-less?
Are you feeling,
In my softness?

Are you smelling,
With your nose-less?
Are you breathing,
In my scentedness?

Are you tasting,
With your tongue-less?
Are you licking,
In my sweetness?

I am no mathematician

2009-05-25T19:36:00.006+02:00

I am a poet,

Not a mathematician,

I seek rhymes,

you tell me to find phi's.

I can count,

But i barely get an ounce,

I am left feeling so dunce,

then i scribble like a mouse.

I know it knocks hither,

and hundreds scurry thither,

I am in no flurry,

Stats i shouldn't worry.

I am a poet,

Not a mathematician,

I can't remember theta,

But i know am still a victor.

Atieno is loving

2009-05-25T19:19:00.005+02:00

I promised not to fall,

Atieno, you are falling.

I promised never to get addicted

Atieno, you are getting addicted.

I promised not to have to see you every day.

Atieno, you have to see him every day.

I promised not to drown in his innocent eyes,

Atieno, you are drowning.

I promised not to feel his touch,

Atieno you are feeling.

I promised not to want his touch,

Atieno you are wanting.

I promised not to love his stories,

Atieno, you are loving.

I promised not to talk till midnight,

Atieno, you are talking.

I promised not to dream about him,

Atieno, you are dreaming.

I promised not to wish long for him,

Atieno, you are wishing.

I promised not to start him loving,

Atieno, you are starting.

I promised not to trust his loving,

Atieno, you are trusting.

I promised not to love his trusting,

Atieno, you are loving.

Questions so unseasoned

2009-05-25T18:58:00.005+02:00

I feel hairy and prickly,

sweet little friend,

when u ask me a legion,

questions so unseasoned,

and i have no clear reason.

I feel so small and weary,

sweet little friend,

when u lock my hand,

In your firm embrace,

and lock my mind,

in this empty space.

I can't help cower,

sweet little friend,

when u ask of my touch,

and flame my mind,

with your close-up lips,

a tender kiss.

I have no reason,

sweet little friend,

my mind is fleeting,

because of your touch,

your drowning gaze,

and your warm embrace

Eye of innocence

2009-05-25T18:45:00.002+02:00

Today i went a soul-searching,
and i was looking through your eyes,
and i found many things surprising,
but for sure your love's no lie.

Chewing the local tongue

2009-05-13T20:32:00.002+02:00

To use the language of the flowers,
to play with the words,
to think with the hands,
to write with the mouth,
to eat with the mind,
To chew the local tongue,
to spit the open verbs,
to hide the deeper thoughts,
to screen the crazy faults,
to dim the passion spots,
To quell the beating hearts,
to rest the loving souls,
to ease the sleeping owls,
to please the stubborn olds,
to rest the english sword,
for the pompous mother's tongue

Rendesvous

2009-05-13T20:08:00.003+02:00

He makes her sit yonder,

where he can be fonder,

He knows she won't wonder,

because she believes he loves her.

He plucks her face,

like an afro guitar,

He strums her hair,

like a kikuyu one- fid,

He plays with her palm,

like a breeze in the sun,

He scrolls down her waist,

like a spring down a slope,

He fights out her cold,

like a baby so new born,

He locks his embrace,

He prays for her grace,

He's done with the chase,

She's here to stay.

Sweetest thing

2009-05-13T19:07:00.008+02:00

"Elle est si belle

Elle me donne des ailes

Elle fait des merveilles

Elle brille comme une parle

Elle je l'aime

Parce que c'est elle "

My butterfly

2009-05-06T20:51:00.004+02:00

I have my butterfly,

it scampers within,

sheer...fear,

it wants to scream,

i want to leave.

I have my butterfly,

It's chocking,

SUFFOCATING-

stuffing me in,

i feel so ill.

I have my butterfly,

its wings will shield,

my worries to shrink,

dark waters be still,

I have my butterfly,

it flatters within.

Losing it

2009-05-06T20:36:00.002+02:00

It feels me with rage,
to stand on my feet,
to think on my knees,
to shake like a fig,
to squeal with great steam,
to tire of my skin,
to reek of a sin,
to live for a kin
to yearn to begin,
to return in between,
to be still unseen,
to know not my being,
to feel but the warmth,
to feel just her touch,
to hear mama's laugh,
to cling on her lap,
to get a big hug,
to get back on track,

It feels me with rage,
to be on the creek,
to not be at ease,
to lack any peace
to just have to please,
to build,
to for them dream,
to be like a king,
to lead and so plead,
to sell all my skill,
to work like a pig,
to think of a pill,
to kill and seal,
and end this grave will.

It's gone.

like a first kiss

2009-04-27T20:18:00.004+02:00

Why didn't somebody tell me,
That life is like a first kiss;

Random and unexpected

Scary and infinitely intimate,

Deep and eerily passionate,

Pensive and yet so mystical,

Electric and emotional,

Infering and defering,

Enriching and in-riching,

Stimulating and pacifying,

Refreshing and invigorating,

An everyday wish of a singular Miss,

A regular ploy of lovers in bliss,

addictive in some like Marie's hashish....

Ah,

those people...

They should have told me.

I should have learned how to live.

When you say you love me

2009-04-27T19:50:00.004+02:00

You are making me cringe,

mon cheri,

Tarry a little-.

Don't tell me you are in love,

mon cheri,

Wait a minute.

It's because, since i was little,

mon cheri,

I have been bred-,

To believe not a man's sweetness,

mon cheri

Not yet at least.

I tremble deep inside,

mon cheri,

When you speak of such depth-,

wealth of emotion,

mon cheri,

when we are only knowing each other.

You laugh hard,

mon cheri,

When you sense my doubt-,

my uncertainty of this infection

mon cheri,

the one that is driving the both of us insane.

Be tender and still,

mon cheri,

when i say tarry a little-,

when you sense my doubt,

mon cheri,

a day at a time,

one day to say i love you too.

The bird song

2009-04-26T08:04:00.002+02:00

They taught me the bird song,
The 'winyo manyasure',
The luo teacher and the bamboo cane,
Young and tender and very slender,

Bound to sing and dance for pleasure,
They made me learn the tune,
learn the many hard words too,
the syllables and the sounds,
the accent of my mother,
the ego of another.

They gave me the big gitaa,
the eight string to pluck,
the bul drum to smack,
the stony gourd shaker,
and a sisal skirt to dance.

They said 'baby girl',
leap hard and bound fast,
smile like the little bird,
shake like oiled bearings,
you are the bird queen.

He tells me not to worry

2009-04-25T16:26:00.002+02:00

He tells me not to worry,
He makes me start to worry,
Pumping my music up,
Playing my favourite songs,
Cleaning my special cup,
Finding my sparkling scarf,
Combing my kinky hair,
Brushing my ivory teeth,

Oh,
Atohe!
This is ground to worry.

The antelope have pricked the ears,
The crow is waiting near,
The lioness is prowling here,
and she thinks i cannot hear.
They belive i will die of fear,
Or loneliness and despair,
Robbed of lovers share,

Oh,
Atohe!
This is ground to worry.

Self-searching

2009-04-23T20:53:00.006+02:00

They make me go a self-searching,

Every week in amber dressing,

It gets me all-a-thinking,

making mends of all my living.

I sit and babble, and smile and smuggle,

words of wisdom, she little mumbles,

doctor ! doctor ! you're so humble,

You make my days a lesser struggle.

Today I tear, today i giggle,

I speak and think,

but am still fibble

am tired of all these daily riddles.

I tire of all that self-a-searching,

I'd rather go away a-marching,

many days with no one watching,

I want to live, so no more searching.

Acting silly

2009-04-23T20:22:00.003+02:00

I want to act silly,

and its quite easy,

now since its chilly,

but would you get queasy?

I want to laugh hearty,

To smile more sly,

To listen to spicy lies,

and talk under winter skies.

I want to feel pretty,

To make you see me,

let you breathe me,

and try to kiss me.

I want to get cosy,

when u tell me all your stories,

when you get me some pink posies,

and my cheeks turn all rosy.

I want to disappear,

with nothing but you here,

go anywhere but near,

and never have to tear.

I want to be silly,

Before i make my milly,

and find it oh so queasy,

on a night just as chilly.

stream of consciousness

2009-04-23T20:03:00.002+02:00

I can't stop writing now,

Mind boggled up,

Thoughts messed up,

Secrets off my lap.

I might as well not hold back,

The hull is going to crack,

and my insides maybe lurk,

argh....so yuck.

This poetic indolence,

Unimaginable insolence,

All words so verbose,

With meanings so morose.

Why must i be happy,

if tomorrow things be sloppy,

and my hair now too moppy,

i cant help but end up sobbing.

In tune, must say,

The frays, today,

i want to lay,

can't have my way.

Pins and needles,

sweets and skittles,

life's a beatle, oh so little.

just let me mingle, better single.

Table football

2009-04-22T19:48:00.012+02:00

I played the table football you know,

Yesterday, though i am sure it can't show,
I was a wreck, you know,

But he stood so close, for me to show....

It's not so monotonous and old,
Well, not when he was good like gold,

Turning tables, turning scores,

Even the sweat could not leave my pores.

Team mate ever, is that a never?

I know am not too good-er,

But with you I can be better,

Ain't you the best teacher!

And preacher and leader,

For within, I am a sinner,

A wanter, a lover,

A wishful, and peaceful dreamer.

That smile and that shimmer,

Makes my life so less grimmer,

Even when life's so - whatever,

You blaze it, happy maker

Living just right under,

This foot, this love-lorn sister,

Ah, my special Mister,

Don't let man put asunder.

"That love feeling"

2009-04-22T19:12:00.003+02:00

I have it again,

I can feel it in my chest,

I can feel it when he is near,

That extra beat,

That extra seat,

Dining hall.

All of a sudden I am shy.

Somehow i want to cry,

Because i know that its a lie,

It's all going to fly,

Out of my life ,

Just as soon as it came,

Leaving my heart maime

But today i will have no one to blame,

But have my soul ashamed,

Again!

The medicine of the son

2009-04-14T07:41:00.002+02:00

If you never knew, know today!
the nyathi mar mama,
the son of the mother :the village boy,
of the ones you called ‘uncivilised’
of the one’s you called ‘no good-ers’
of the ‘intellectually challenged’
of the ‘slaves’ and the ‘servants’
of the fathers of the struggle
he has taken the tallest sit in the land.

If you never knew, know today
the mother is beaming, she shows her teeth,
ulcerous mouth, tooth decay,
she smiles harder,
she cringes:the stomach,
she groans: the calves,
still paining,
still straining.

If you never knew , know today
He has restarted the journey
Yes, the stalled one,
Like the mother,
Of the grassland, and the lake,
Of the omena and the mbuta,
Of the stubborn malaria,
Even of the dreaded 3-letters
The ‘shh’-not at table

If you never knew, know today,
the son of the mother,
he has made us proud,
beaten a new path,
the way of the Luthers and Madibas,
the ranks of Du Bois and Mal.X,
for freedom and change
Because-o he can!

If you never knew, know today,
the mother is getting better,
the siblings will follow the path,
the journey will be made easier,
the spirit will never wane,
the soil will forever gain,
the homeland never the same

If you never knew, know today,
You are a joker!
pay attention!
listen hard....listen fast,
the mother has awaken
toothache?onge!Gotire!finished!
ulcers ?onge!Gotire!finished!
no stomach..yaye!
no calves..yaye!
Ahh..the medicine of the son,
the YES WE CAN!

You are irritating!

2009-04-12T18:23:00.002+02:00

I try to sit still,
Inside, my bowels are not at ease.
It rumbles of your presence,
It mumbles in such great dissidence.

You burst into my presence,
My mind bursts away from mine,
My world ceases to be a haven,
It's like a devil of the heathen.

I cant forge an Africanness,
My face steals all my harshness,
Eyes screaming please be gone now,
You act as though you are safely home now.

I scream, I sigh, I cackle under,
Could i just be just undiscovered,
To rid myself of this ..this..*&%$#@,
that makes my days so un-bear-rabble.

I couldn't have had a younger,
a sister, child, or little brother,
they'd give me so much anger,
I bet my heart would just be in danger.

If any was in slightest semblance,
a tad as much your gross counter,
your smile -your walk- your every falter,
High Lord you know I would die somber.

But now, you aren't a stranger,
You stick on me like sticker paper,
In shade, in sun, in every corner,
I can't rid you, i have no power.

ahh....but what's the bother,
It's like a bee after a flower.
Like some lice on dreaded fellows,
Let me be, i need no trailer!

2009-04-11T19:35:00.000+02:00

Down but not out!

2009-04-11T18:25:00.005+02:00

I heave a sigh,
...drat! half past 9,
the number class is neigh,
i don't feel so fine.

He seems to mime,
I cannot say hi,
My worth's a dime,
I can't score high.

The boys are wild,
the Math's like wine
they answer in stride,
I squeal and whine.

Integration with equations,
brews in me disintegration,
the eye will twitch,
my scalp starts to itch.

Pen on square paper,
someone tell me what's the flavour,
I am trying not to be a hater,
but I really am not that clever.

My act is clear,
He changes gear...
'what's wrong dear'?
But will he hear?

'Integration and equations
this is like work of masons,
where's the division and multiplication?
the work for mere jasons?'

His pen on my book,
like coins in a juke,
so melodious i must look,
ahh...i can still be more than a cook!

Powers and sequence,
that's what i've been missing,
a little more frequence,
those As i will be kissing.

I am going

2009-04-10T09:20:00.005+02:00

Today i am going,
I am dusting my church shoes,
I am unfolding my church clothes
I am finding the special book

Today i am going,
For in many days i have been astray,
Inside i am far away,
I can't help but say.

The crowd is rolling,
And the money is flowing..
For the basket that goes around
For the wisdom they think is sound.

My insides indifferent,
My countenance incoherent,
I can forge an excitement,
I can lunge in spiritness

Today , I am going,
I am not seeking anything,
I am not pleasing any being

ahh....
My foot will just lead,

pata pata, splinx splanx

and i will follow.

Today i will not care

2009-04-09T21:33:00.001+02:00

I am too far off to run home.But home beckons.The mother is calling all the children.The children down South, and those far in the progressive lands.I feel the pull throughout my body and my mind.I feel my soul answer to the call, and weakening my stature.Almost breaking, yet rejuvenating.Some form of reconnection.I hadn't lost it, but now i dearly feel it. I feel like i have to hurry.but i know i can't.My fruit is yet unripe.My juice is sour.It's still an unfavoured poison. Time.Thats what i can only muse upon.Hopeful dreams.Things that seem.Things that will be.

It's as though i have lunged into a new chamber of my person.Something that's been brewing in the background for long.The still, peaceful one.The one that cares less when they stand at doors and say 'tarry not' or 'scream' in great halls of influence to boast their inferior superiority.Junior of my brother, what are you talking? You let youngsters like us surpass your wisdom and maturity with your eyes agape...shame!

Ahh....i tire from some of the crude insanities of the world.Today i will not fight.My fight is bigger.I will not drain my energy smacking down ants and flies from my repast.To eat i must.The journey will be long.It will be dreary.perhaps sometimes even scary.I must eat. I must eat even if some men will vomit upon my food.i must drink, even if some men will urinate in my cup. I must rest even on the meagre sack, the gunia in the corner of my room.i must ponder ...i am driven to be somber inside.je ne sais pas. I don't know why.

I am not in a hurry to know why..
Today i just want to be.To feel my toes, to feel the sensation in my ankles against the blue hard carpet.To feel the tension in my calves.To feel the itch on my hips.To accept the pot in my belly, to feel the tired attempts of 2-decade old lungs, loyal,yes..faithful ...to hear the silence of emotion in my heart.to miss the tinker of a crush, or the shiver of a love...

Today, i want to remember why i liked the music unsung.The strumming of the big fat viola..or the sweet and tender violin...the exquisite hands of the pianist across those very familiar keys...the brass, and their abruptness, and the underlying message that everyone learns with time, which i find is just oneself...just.

Today, late, i will muse at the prospect of my journey.This annoying journey.this absence of sure-footedness.this unending journey.The paths that i chose.The problems on the paths i chose.The joys of the paths that i chose.The fragility of the paths that i chose.The permanence of the paths that i chose.The paths that i choose.

Ahh.I hope that i will never be afraid.Never be afraid of feeling incomplete.Feeling that there is much room for something different.Feeling unconfined and unlimited.

Bind my hands i free my mind.
Bind my heart i free my soul.
Bind my mouth i free my words..

Living for the essence.Happiness.That's all.On my ticket. In my coach. Leather-brown. Old.Ripped.Torn.6th-hand maybe.Overused.but... I like old....
Head on the windowpane......lez go...lez go..

ImboochaY

A daughter's right

Must it be me

Face your demons first

Sticking it out

Mimi

An Individual

mAPenzi haYApendi

START SESSION

"miss"

sobs from within

Undecided

Tide has turned

letter-day

To be mad

SaDdNeSs

Are you sensing me?

I am no mathematician

Atieno is loving

Questions so unseasoned

Eye of innocence

Chewing the local tongue

Rendesvous

*Sweetest thing*

My butterfly

Losing it

like a first kiss

When you say you love me

The bird song

He tells me not to worry

Self-searching

Acting silly

stream of consciousness

Table football

"That love feeling"

The medicine of the son

You are irritating!

Down but not out!

I am going

Today i will not care

Sweetest thing